Journal 2026/7/31 They hoped I had the same morality as them. Buy their goods and stay quiet about it. Provide entertainment along the way. A level of social trust with hard lines, insider outsider. Need to know basis. Very Cancerian. I care for the in group. Tribalism. A family. People who are supportive. I was picking up a lot of strangeness from them. Testing, comments which were seeking to watch by my reaction what I knew and how much could I be trusted. Even after years as their paranoia grew in line with their reputation and the dark experiences they’d had to swallow and were keeping us from, and the dark experiences we had been through together. Some of the stuff they were into was a lot harder than I was ready to know about. No wonder people turn to drugs as escapism and an attempt at healing by going sideways from themselves. Religious people do that too. It’s the opposite to Jungian philosophy, confront and assimilate the shadow self through acceptance forgiveness...