Love Bombed

 

BUT IS IT REALLY A LOVE BOMB? 

The criticism that a partner is a narcissist who is lovebombing means every time your partner does something loving you reject it as a manipulation and simultaneously you accuse the partner of not being loving and emotionally supportive of you. 

The analysis is broken because it is not coherent it has no integrity. The partner cannot be both unsupportive and manipulative when their actions are to be supportive and manipulative. 

The judgement is made not based on their actions but on the insecurities of the person making the allegation that the actions are those of a narcissist. 

Is that the blameshift of a narcissist onto a  genuinely loving partner whose love intimidates the narcissist because it makes them feel guilt they do not reciprocate the love? That they therefore are the manipulator? 

My recent experience of this that recently (autumn 2023 to present, spring 2024) is a known sociopath who has a history of manipulating people in my life and turning them against me based on zero evidence and using hype and fear to control other people while playing the victim themself, who has told me to my face she intends to split me up from my fiancé, has persuaded my fiancé that everything I did which was loving was the act of a narcissist trying to manipulate and control her. 

She told me fiancé that she was jealous because her own partner had never asked her to marry him. That’s her motivation for brainwashing my girl and her family against me. 

My fiancé sided with her and her family after the pressure she put onto my girlfriend’s family triggered her family to reject me. The pressure that out onto my fiancé to end the relationship with someone they have been encouraged to see as a problem-maker, encouraged  by the person who is actually making the problems. 

It's what David Icke describes as Drama-Reaction-Solution, his version of the Hegelian Dialogue. Ordo Ab Chao.

What’s wrong with them that they do not question her? 

Why don’t they trust their daughter? 

Her judgement on her chosen fiancé as a valued new member of the extended family. I continually proved my worth repeatedly. 

Answer to the second question is they know their daughter is easily manipulated because they do that to her themselves all the time. I witnessed it myself. 

This toxic situation created a toxic environment of elevated tension where my fiancé felt she had to decide between me or her family and fake friend. She bravely and nobly tried to juggle it all instead of making a decision. It resulted inevitably in that she lost me and I lost her. 

She could have dumped the sociopath at my advice but she chose not to. I could have insisted more emphatically but I am not the oppressive male who is controlling women around me, which men are stereotypes to be. I gave her free choice to decide and she chose them. 

I was simply another disposable man in a string of the same to whom her request that we get engaged so she can feel stable in a relationship to overcome her alleged trauma-based anxiety attachment disorder was nothing more than another manipulation of a male by an experienced narcissist who is surrounded by experienced narcissists. 

Despite this I still miss the hell out of her. The literature all suggests that’s normal for people who have suffered narcissistic abuse. A version of stockholme syndrome.