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Sexual Relationships

 


A long, elaborate answer to a beautiful topic. 


“How often do you have sex? How many people have you had sex with?” 


Not nearly as many as I would have liked and not nearly as often as I would have liked. 


I would prefer one regularly partner forever than more than one more rarely. 


I didn’t have regular monogamy even though I repeatedly tried for it. So instead I had serial monogamy which is the same as occasional polygamy. 


I don’t think this makes me promiscuous given how I wasn’t having a lot of different people within a short time period. Although as I get older what ‘a short time period’ means had changed from days to weeks to months to years. 


Only twice have I had two girls on the same day and now I don’t get one girl in two years. I know men and women who at one time were going as many as five a day regularly. That’s how I judge promiscuity and I am not that. 


What’s my opinion on it now? I don’t care any more. The mistake I made in the past was assuming I had to jump through her hoops without her having to jump through my hoops. it should not be that there are any hoops. 


Sex is mutual pleasure for the sake of mutual pleasure. 


When sex becomes conditional or it becomes transactional, it’s no longer mutual pleasure for the sake of mutual pleasure. That is when it becomes slavery and prostitution. 


An honest prostitute has boundaries involving everyone knowing what those boundaries are. 


That has more respectability than a dishonest prostitute who does not establish clear boundaries and who has manipulated someone from the promise of mutual pleasure for the sake of mutual pleasure into a situation of conditional and transactional sex. 


That is an abusive relationship. It’s toxic. I do not want that for anyone. I do not want that for myself or any person I happen to have sex with. 


I would rather have sex with an honest prostitute than to have sex with a strategist who uses sex as a tool of manipulation and control. 


Anyone who says or believes ‘relationships go through stages’ is a strategist, it’s a narcissistic red flag. 


So far I have never had an agreement of casual sex for money with anyone. I have had sexual relationships with more than one person who uses sex conditionally and transactional despite no conversation, agreement or consent to that. 


That is why relationships end. That is why I have had serial monogamy, a form of polygamy, rather than lifelong monogamy with one person. I know people who have attained that. It’s rare. Asking them how they succeed at it is revealing. Asking people who haven’t achieved that how to achieve that, is delusional. The answer is usually very simple. 





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