What you want from me: sex
What I want from you: sex
This is hook-up culture.
I have explained:
Transactional and conditional relationships fail.
Agreements must be made so everyone is on the same page.
We agreed we want to meet for sex.
Now you have asked that before we meet for sex, requiring one of us to travel to the other, that we must both travel to meet not for sex but for you to decide if you want to meet for sex.
You have gone back a step.
You are expecting me to go out of my way and pay extra expenses which there will be no guarantee of sex for.
I have explained to you this is exactly why I split up with my ex.
I have explained to you this is what is meant by transactional and conditional relationships.
I have explained to you that is not what I am looking for.
It is a control game.
You have changed the conditions.
You have changed the goalposts.
I can not spell it out much simpler than this.
We could get a hotel half way which will cost more than travel costs.
You did not mention that. You left it open and unplanned for me to decide.
You offered sex. I said okay come visit.
Now you have changed the goalposts. You have changed the goalposts so you can observe how I react to that. To find out what sort of person you are dealing with. Whether I will stand for being manipulated and controlled. To find out what my self-value is. You want to know that before we meet.
This is atrocious behaviour I will not stand for. I have spelled it out to you already. Did you ignore that? Is it irrelevant to you what my opinion is? You clearly are not looking to be in a relationship with an honest man who knows himself and refuses to compromise with that.
I can get sex on tap from my street for less than the price of travel and a hotel. If sex was all I wanted from life. So far it’s the only substantial thing you have offered and now you have changed the condition for that too.
This is why discrete, respectable, respectful hook-ups where one travels directly to the facility of the other which we already pay for a bed, bathing and cooking facilities plus any other entertainment.
If you want a sugar daddy it is not something we ever discussed aside from I explained I am not looking for transactional and conditional relationship.
You shit-tested me but the problem you have is that shit-testing is a red flag behaviour.
Sorry. We do not have a future together. It’s better we found that out now.
Move on.
I’m not going to force you into a sexual relationship. It’s mostly all you talked about for months then you got cold feet which is normal to feel. You live in London there are millions of guys there who would give you what you want. Thanks for sharing a lovely dream while it lasted. Stay safe you x
She replied, using a gas-lighting technique:
“I can't reply to this right now as I'm at work. I'm honestly so upset. You got me completely wrong.
Or perhaps I got you completely wrong. I don't play mind games. That's not my style.”
I will go by my own faculty instead of going against that by taking your word for it. I will not ignore my faculty or the games you have been caught playing, which I confronted you about. Gas-lighting me at this time does not improve upon any misunderstanding. I have seen through it, I have become entrenched in an opinion that you have 1) manipulated 2) gas-lighted.
Modernism Is Narcissism.
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